Thank you,
Steph
Monday, April 5, 2010
New Posting of my Final Piece
So, here is the latest version of my final project. I'm looking for any feedback you think could help me out as I continue working on this. I'm about to interview 4 people about this particular event, so I imagine things will change quite drastically in the near future but I'd still love your insight. What's working? What's really not working?
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You open this piece quite well. I think you've made great edits, because I'm not bored by anything he says. Through headphones, some of the sound effects are a little overpowering (as in, they're loud enough to drown out voices).
ReplyDeleteAt any rate... while you've done a nice job so far, I look forward to any drastic changes that may occur. :D
it might be my headphones, but i have a hard time hearing him over the music. the music sounds very clear, but he sounds softer and fuzzier. i would try to test editing your voice out...
ReplyDelete(did you sample Blondie? haha)
Hmmmm... Okay so you've used the ending song before, and it's almost too familiar. And, which I enjoy the music, I think you're relying too heavily on it. It's doing the job of emotion and beat for you...And watch clipping within your sound effect of the door. I can hear that....and the fact that the beginning song's intro skips and repeats. Just technical stuff on that end. The story has potential...but I'd like to hear you keep going with it. :) Keep up the good work though!
ReplyDeleteI think you ve made a smart choice in picking the right parts out of all that you had earlier. In some places though the music gets a little louder than his voice and i missed what he was saying. Apart from that it has been well put together in terms of the matter. I guess you need to clean up some of the edits and if I'm not wrong some mike handling noise at one point.
ReplyDeleteI really like the opening. I like how you started with the start of conversation and then put the music in the background. However I had to really focus listening and try to understand what he was saying since it was a little bit boring I think...
ReplyDeleteI feel like you did a good job of asking him 'when did this happen?' because it was what I might have wanted to ask as well.
Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteI'll be interested to hear how your piece evolves with the additional interviews. It might be interesting to play what you have for people, and have them add short commentary or explanation interspersed in your grandpa's story. Perhaps a bit should come from you as well to help us listeners situate ourselves and understand who he's talking about in the story, and why this particular story is such a surprise and now so meaningful to you.
Can you bring his voice us in the mix a bit? The music seems loud in comparison.
I love the image in the end of him holding your grandma's hand in their older years....
-stephanie